" It's like, all my past regrets or embarrassments or anything I didn't feel particular content about myself are all I can think about. and then I go and start making up bad stuff to think about myself. I realise the absurdity of it throughout the entire process, but I still can't help it " - quoted from bluelegend7.blogspot.com

Just so you know, that's how I am feeling. EXACTLY how I am feeling.

Squid said to me, why are you always not happy with yourself? You even take half an hour to dress!

He told me to stop thinking too much , because he has been telling that a million times already. That we have gone through this a thousand times.

I said, well, it's like I am not good enough for people. Like when I made the spaghetti for you, you don't seem happy with it.

Squid asked me " Well but did I finish it up in the end?"

I answered " Yes, you even ate mine"

He asked " What about the soup? or the tomyam? Did I finish it in the end?"

And then I felt absurd. Technically I have been unhappy and hurting my brains and neglecting my studies because I think too much, when people around me are actually happy with me and not annoyed with me. I have prayed for the peace and strength from God. Feeling much better now, to know that nothing has changed. That it was I, who have been so unhappy all along, when everyone else around me loves me. :)

Okay here I go thinking again. It hurts. And I'm hungry. STOP THINKING TOO MUCH. Everyone is having a pleasant holiday except you, because you don't trust, you feel insecure and think too much. There are so many other things to think about, so many other things people are thinking about besides this. People are worrying over their education, their grades, their internship. Be grateful, stop scowling, learn to smile before people actually leave you because you are such an unpleasant person.

There go eat, if it makes you happy :)