As I am typing this, my laundry is still outside in the laundry bag waiting to be hung up.
I never really understood the why people blog most of the time, but I think i do now. I mean, i blog not to show off or to gain attention, I guess it's the only way to make me happier. To release the many thoughts in my head that really kills me sometimes.
Literally. I almost drank down cough syrup the other day because these thoughts kept haunting me, these thoughts kept taunting me and disturbing me, even when I fall asleep they come back to me. I hate it :(
So I prayed. I know, I always feel guilty when I pray because I am not exactly the angelic, devoted girl. I am who I am. I believe in my God. I believe that He is going to question me and ask me why I did such and such and I know, He will probably be very angry with me :(
I try to change everyday, I try and try. It's improving, thankfully. But it's hard. Haha, I sound like a drug addict eay? I am not. I believe in integrity.
Another thought that kills me, is thinking of the past. thinking of how someone is going to hurt me so badly. Thinking the most negative way about a person and not appreciating a person. But today, I think I have overcome it, it took me one year but I overcome it today. And I am proud of myself.
I just hope things change, I'm sick of thinking too much. I want to appreciate the moments in life.
Oh yes, I didn't do too well for my last semester. I feel like a freaking idiotic failure. I will try harder this semester, so far so good. Alot of distractions lately. Movies, food, lepaks, football. But I will overcome it. :) I will!
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